Tuesday, February 24, 2009

More Politics!

So I get this meeting last Friday afternoon about how I have an "attitude" problem. When they asked about the situation I completely and nonchalantly admitted to being mad at this particular coworker and explained to them why I was mad and what I said to him (in private, no yelling, no swearing- just firm and direct). Well, my supervisor and HR are so surprised that they blurt out "you admit it?" Yeah, it's no big deal. So on and so forth. My supervisor tells me that he's my biggest supporter and that he felt it was necessary to take this to HR and says that he'll have official paperwork for me Monday.

I decide write a rebuttal complaint against the guy for what he did and said to me that pissed me off and sent it to my supervisor only that same afternoon. The next shift on Monday for a 24 hours I barely see my supervisor and he definitely doesn't talk to me about any of this (doesn't even say good morning) and doesn't bring me any paperwork to sign (or refuse to sign). That's when I realized for sure that he's NOT my biggest supporter because he didn't give me the benefit of the doubt when the complaint first came in and waited a week to even talk to me about it and get my side of the story before he made it official.

Basically, he worked at earning my trust these last few years by saying that he had faith in me, that he trusted me and that I could trust him, but when the chips were down he had no real faith in me and assumed the worst; only to be surprise when I completely admitted what I done without any obvious guilt or defensiveness. He earned my trust just to be able to MANAGE me. I don't have a problem being managed since he is after all my manager. I just don't particularly care to be tricked and lied to about it.

So just when I thought I was cynical enough and hardened to the crap that people do to each other; I realized that his trust really meant something to me and that I feel very betrayed. For the first time in my entire career at this county I have finally reached a point of true indifference. I care about my professional reputation and administering excellent care to my patients but the rest of the lying administration can kiss my ass. I'm vowing that from now on I'm going to do my best to remain emotionally uninvested in this place. It's a paycheck/pension and nothing more to me anymore.

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