Friday, February 13, 2009

Top 10 grossest things that can come from/out of the human body.

For those of you that don't like gory details then you should probably stop reading right about now. For the rest of you out there that just have to hear all the disgusting aspects, please continue. ;o)


10) BLOOD : Okay, you're probably thinking that blood is very gross but in reality it's not really that bad. Blood circulates inside a sterile closed system of veins and arteries and as long as it's not actively infected with anything contagious and the person's immune system is working correcting then it's okay. Most people can't stand the sight of blood and often faint (we make a lot of those fainting calls) but blood doesn't smell bad and cleans up easily. HINT: use hydrogen peroxide to get blood out of clothing/carpet/etc, just soak and resoak and rinse the foam. HP breaks down blood and tissue, which is why it's bad to use it excessively on injuries.

9) GERIATRIC DUST: You've probably never heard of this. It's when someone is very old, usually over 80, they usually have extremely dry, poorly maintained skin. They are covered in a layer of dandruff-like powder. Doesn't sound too bad right? Try picking this person up with a full body hug after they've fallen and can't get up. You end up covered in dandruff that has a slight odor and is difficult to brush off, ick.

8) BIRTH FLUIDS: Need I say more. Babies are beautiful, the miracle of human birth is beautiful, actually participating in the spewing, bloodly, amniotic fluidly explosion: not so much. And yes, I have delivered babies in the field.

7) MUCUS: I'm not talking about the clear, piddling amount that you blow into a tissue when you've got the flu. I'm talking about that thick, yellow-greenish sludge that collects in the lungs of people with severe lung disease. I'm talking about the malleable missile that shoots from the diseased lungs with a strong cough; the sticky mess that ends up flying over 6+ feet and you had better duck!

6) URINE: Oh you know it had to be on this list! Urine is a funny thing. Doesn't look like much but the smell will stay for hours. Especially the dark, concentrated urine from someone that rarely drinks water. Fortunately, urine is like blood. As long as there's no active infection it's mostly sterile.

5) VOMIT: You know that chunky style. The type of vomit that still smells just a little bit recognizable as a previous meal. Or pure gatorade vomit, yuck! It has a sickly, sweet smell that will stay in your nose for hours! But like urine and blood it's mostly non-contagious.

4) PUS: If you've never experienced the full range of major skin infection such as gangrene then you've never really experienced the joy of rotting human flesh. This also includes smelling a week old corpse; especially if the body is not in a cool environment. The smell will ooze out of a home for yards and you'd better not be downwind! Been there, done that; maggots and all.

3) FECES: You think stepping in a dog pile is bad then try stepping in a human pile. Oh yes, I've done that. Not on purpose though! Human feces is probably one of the worse smelling, longest lasting stenches you'll ever come across. I washed my boots a half a dozen times that day and still I could smell it! Keep in mind that my sniffer isn't so awesome. A lifetime of sinus infections have severely damaged my sense of smell. But at least I can still smell baking cookies, YUM!

2) COLOSTOMY: You ever heard of a colostomy? It's when someone has a bowel disease and must have a section of their colon removed . The have a temporary or permanent hole, a stoma, incised into their abdomen and a plastic bag is secured over the stoma to collect the contents of their colon. It doesn't exit the body from the rectum as normal. Okay, so the contents of a colostomy bag is a horrible combination of vomit and diarrhea. It's feces that hasn't been completely formed and it stinks like you wouldn't believe. I helped an older woman years ago that had been changing her bag and spilled it all over herself. Wow, had to step outside for fresh air on that one!

And the number 1 grossest thing from the human body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1) GI BLEED: GI stands for gastrointestinal and it means when someone is bleeding internally in their esophagus, stomach and/or intestines. Blood by itself isn't too bad and feces is bad enough alone, but you combine the two and OMG! The blood usually sits in the GI tract for hours or days before person realizes that they're bleeding so it decomposes and is partially digested and irritates the internal linings. Human blood is very corrosive to the internal organs and the body doesn't like being exposed to blood outside of the cellular level. The end result is the most disgusting, reeking, sticky, dark black mess you'll ever experience. Especially if the person is vomiting and crapping this mess simultaneously. Whatever you do, DO NOT get it on you! And yes, I've witnessed, treated and cleaned up after that fun, too.

Doesn't this list make you glad you don't work in the medical field?


  1. OMG ....... you had to know I would read this and hate/love it. LOL Great tip on blood removal I use hydrogen peroxide for any organic stain it works wonders.
    Smelling would probably bother me more then seeing or touching. blaaa ... As long as its you and not me.

  2. Oh my.....yes...and I have a degree in Biology...glad it didn't lead me I applaud your dedication. I saw you left a comment on my first blog..I forgot I had that blog. I had started a new one..thanks for the nice comment. I had forgotten I had written that Take care and stay out of the bodily fluids! Oh...gotta tell this...I had a 7th grade science teacher who drank his own urine to show us it was harmless..amazing I still decided to major in

  3. HI! I have been a dental assistant for 12 years and usually i love gross stuff lol but some of this was beyond my gross/cool threshold! it's like that commercial where the paramedic passes out and they say"are you in the wrong career?":0) hope you check out my blog too!
    Blessings to you!

  4. You used cookies and feces in the same paragraph. That's just wrong. ;)

  5. OMG-I so love you right now! I love gross, informative and funny all wrapped into one. This is definitely my kind of writing.


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