I'm finally starting to get some of my stamina and stride back from this insane year of medical issues. You know when you think you're functioning normally, you think "yeah I'm doing okay, maybe not great but I'm hanging on to my life." I laugh in the face of past perceived lucidity!
This week two things happened that made me realized just how fubared my life has been this year from my earlier medical problems. I sat down to balance my check book and realize that there is over $2000 missing from my account. Holy Mother of God and WTF!!!! How the hell did this happen and why did I not notice before now??????
Long story short - I go back to the beginning of '09 and check every entry, every penny. I realize that I had moved that large amount to my savings at one point and forgot to enter it so that wasn't really gone. whew! However, starting around the time of my major bleeding and the accompanying brain fog my check book become rather - weird. I'm normally very meticulous about my money. It's not that money is all that important to me in theory but where it is and where it's going is important. It's a tool and it damn well better be working full time for me!
Well, my basic arithmetic became very, very wrong, I entered deposits and withdrawals that apparently never existed. The entries that were there were correct but everything else was really screwed up. It's a good thing I wasn't on the ambulance during that time because who knows what the hell I would have done and not realized it.
Also, my usual chores are trimming and landscaping while my husband does the mowing and edging. Since I hadn't been able to do that for awhile and this was the first week that I had both the energy and the lack of a headache; I decided to tackle the job.
Holy crap! The climbing roses in the backyard were staging a coup on the lantana, the plumeria tree, the bbq smoker, the patio roof and the back door. I hadn't been in the back yard for a couple of weeks so I was quite surprised to notice that as soon as I stepped outside the door I was confronted by a large, thorny, reaching rose branch. Kind in mind that the rose bush is 10 feet away. I schooled that bush with my combat trimmers and leather gloves and am happy to report that it is now back to a modest rose bush.
Both of these things made me realize just how blitzed I've been for the past several months. Not that I could help it. As my mom said: "Honey, you're in survival mode right now." Boy, was she right!